In this LIVE STREAM session advice columnist and social researcher Deborrah Cooper discusses “Tough Love Parenting” and how it can be used to turn around the wave of young black males who have no direction, no purpose, lack values, and treat women and children with disdain. Giving male children structure and boundaries may be difficult for single mothers, but if we are to reduce the violence and rage these young men project, parenting them differently is where we must start.
Relationship and other advice questions posed to Deborrah are answered in real time, based on her 30 years of experience as a professional dating and life coach.
CONNECT WITH DEBORRAH COOPER
Twitter: @
Facebook:
Relationships Blog:
Black Vegan Blog:
Natural Hair Blog:
Amazon Author Page:
RECOMMEND A MALE GUEST for HE SAID/SHE SAID
Complete form at
HELP SUPPORT THIS CHANNEL
A one-time flat amount donation, or a monthly pledge of anywhere between $5-50 will help show your belief in the hard work Deborrah does for single women worldwide. Support the growth of the channel by doing your part to get new equipment and production assistance to make better videos for you!
Monthly Pledge:
One-Time Donation:
-~-~~-~~~-~~-~-
Please watch: “Codependent Mother and Son Relationship Forces Husband to Say “It’s Your Sorry Son or Me!”
-~-~~-~~~-~~-~-
New subbie here….soooo glad I found ur channel! I had to end a relationship bcuz he, at the age of 35, is still living at home with his mom…… along with other grown siblings. Smh. Luv luv luv ur commentary
Thank you, and welcome to the channel Felicia!🍸
Making your son your man, husband, and head of household at 1 is the mistake. Look how FINE my son is!! My King! My World!!! My Everything!!!!! Ewww yuck. You deserve a grown man to love you while you parent a child, like a child.
Male Identified BW Yes I can’t stand that! These women actually think of their sons as their husbands…so stupid!!!
As for the topic of this video, thank you for discussing it. First, black males need to stop being absentee deadbeats and be there to raise their _own_ freaking flesh and blood sons into men b/c women can’t do it. Second, the black mothers that are left with these sons need to stop coddling, overprotecting, over nurturing, and over defending them and stop making their sons the ONLY male figures in their lives.
The saying that “Black women love their sons, and raise their daughters” is very true and extremely frightening b/c it means black girls are _extremely_ unprotected and black males are _extremely_ overprotected and coddled out of acting like REAL men. You cannot _worship_ and _idealize_ your own son and hope to raise him to be a responsible, hardworking, chivalrous man. He’s going to have major entitlement and selfishness issues. If a boy grows up expecting women to be rundown and overworked mules, drudges, & doormats that wait on him hand and foot (like his mother), he’s going to get ANGRY and possibly VIOLENT when he doesn’t get the SERVICE and ATTENTION he thinks he’s entitled to from random, unsuspecting women out in the world.
*These black males are turning into MONSTERS that mostly turn their hostility against random black women that **_they don’t even know_** because of their (unfounded) resentment towards their black mothers who DID decide to stay and raise them. While they may have qualms about physically or sexually harming the black mothers who openly dote on them, they have no such qualms about me or any other black female that ISN’T their mother.* I don’t really feel sorry for them, I just want these rogue black males to stop posing a danger to any women and children they come into contact with. Seriously. It’s definitely an issue that BOTH fathers & mothers handle. But ultimately, I believe it’s PARAMOUNT that black men ACTUALLY start sticking around to raise their sons – if only to help BALANCE out the natural nurturing inclination of the mothers.
It was an interesting topic and brought out every point in the world. I come from a place of driving towards a goal and getting it done. I would still make my children struggle trying to accomplish something because they’ll appreciate the end result alot more. I intend to pay for college and if they want any extras then they’ll work for it because after working a full time job, carrying a full course load, and graduating on time I can honestly say that it made me a better person because I realized that it can be done. I’ve had people tell me that’s mean but I would always tell them that struggling builds a great work ethic.
You made some excellent points. I like how you had receipts (a study). Black women who constantly complain about men and Black men who constantly complain about women don’t seem to understand that they have a symbiotic relationship in their communities. There’s a cause and effect element. These problems don’t just spring up by osmosis. They are caused. We don’t understand how we create our own problems, so we blame White supremacy, or each other. A Black man once said BW are raising the very men they are complaining about. Since he was a Black man, I resented that statement. But I can see truth in it. The same thing applies to Black men. Black men seem to think that if they’re absent, they have nothing to do with the way their children turn out. Really?! No study backs this up. Any Black person who believes the Black community is fine the way it is, is an idiot and part of the problem. Our communities are dying culturally, morally, and economically. Instead of constantly complaining about each other, Black men and women (married or not), need to come together, take an honest look at our non survival practices and be honest about what we need to change. NO FINGER POINTING OR EMOTIONAL PEOPLE ALLOWED. The attention should be on what kind of adults we want in the future. If not, you think things are bad now? It can get a lot worse.