Hot And Cold In Relationships? Advice For The Avoidant Attachment Types…

Click here to take a five-minute test to identify your attachment style.

Caroline Cranshaw

Books to help:

Bad Boyfriends: Using Attachment Theory to Avoid Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong
by Jeb Kinnison

Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner by Jeb Kinnison

Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried by Leslie Becker-Phelps

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind – and Keep – Love

Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict

Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate

Dismissive/Avoidants (Low Anxiety/High Avoidance) types perceive intimacy as a threat to their freedom. They play it cool and have a hard time expressing their feelings.

They don’t really trust that people will be there for them, so it’s unsafe to depend on others. If they are always saying they need space and leave others out in the cold, they are probably an avoidant.

They may ignore their partners or be overly critical, needing to disconnect in order to deactivate their attachment system and feel calm again.