Clay Andrews answers the question, do rebound relationships last? And if so, how exactly does it happen? If you want to learn more about upgrading your “love operating system” check out our free class over at:
Do rebound relationships ever last or are they doomed to failure?
As with most things in life, it is rarely a black and white kind of thing. There are actually many, many shades of grey in between.
However, if a rebound relationship is going to last, and become a strong and healthy relationship, then a few things need to happen.
First, the two people need to stop using one another for validation. It is no surprise that if you haven’t fully gotten over a breakup, you may be very likely to use a rebound relationship as a form of validation, either to prove your ex wrong, to prove to yourself that you are worthwhile, or to prove some other thing to someone else in some way or another. This is not healthy and not what a great relationship is based on.
They also need to stop hiding from the pain that the breakup caused them. I know that we like to live in a society that values us being unemotional. It must mean that you are so cool if you were not even affected by your breakup. But we all know that this is simply not true.
If you were involved in a relationship for any significant period of time, then a breakup is going to have some sort of emotional impact on you. There is no denying that.
And if repressing those emotions by “sweeping them under the rug” of a rebound relationship is your initial instinct in handling these emotions, then you are doing yourself a disservice.
You will have to address those issues sooner or later. And frankly, your rebound probably does not want to hear you groan about your ex all the time, which is why many rebound relationships do not last.
And finally, both people in the rebound relationship will have to learn how to actually turn toward each other and learn how to have a successful and meaningful connection with one another that is NOT related to the past, and not about simply NOT being your ex. It has to be about who you actually are.
So, do rebound relationships work? They can, but they must go through the shift of going from a rebound relationship to a normal relationship.